A Midsummer Night's Dream: Vintage Toiletry Bottle Labels

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OBERON:  Fetch me that flower; the herb I shew'd thee once:
The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid
Will make or man or woman madly dote
Upon the next live creature that it sees. . . .

Having once this juice,
I'll watch Titania when she is asleep,
And drop the liquor of it in her eyes.
The next thing then she waking looks upon,
Be it on lion, bear, or wolf, or bull,
On meddling monkey, or on busy ape,
She shall pursue it with the soul of love . . .

Sleep deprivation has all sorts of consequences.  There are the obvious ones, like fatigue, fuzzy thinking, and not remembering dentist appointments.  But then there are the more embarrassing ones, like smearing hair pomade on your face in the morning because your moisturizer jar looks EXACTLY like the pomade jar.

(Or at least it does if you squint your eyes when you have been up with a baby at least twice in the night.)

And if that isn't enough, sleep deprivation may just throw you a double whammy by not affording you the braincells to realize that the goo on your face is not moisturizer, but "Surf Hair Gum Paste," until your face starts to harden like a Renaissance statue and you frantically consider the possibility that mothers everywhere might have been right all those years when they said, "Don't make a face like that or your face might stay that way."

Not that this has ever happened to me, of course. 

So for those of you that struggle to find your footing in the wee hours of the morning, and who may need a little something to look forward to as the sun rises (besides an eyewash to remove searing hair product from your corneas), Miriam and I have created the following array of toiletries.

 

Every woman deserves a little magic in the morning.  All the better if that little bit of magic is perfectly vintage and feminine.

Here's how to do it.

First, collect an assortment of fun bottles IN VARIOUS SHAPES AND SIZES so you don't have a repeat of the incident mentioned above.  I found these for about a dollar each at a furniture/decor store.

Next, take a roll of contact paper and cut it to the size of an 8.5x11 piece of printer paper. 

Place your contact paper in a laser jet printer and print off your desired labels onto your paper.  

(all frames courtesy of The Graphics Fairy)

Cut your labels to size and then stick them on your bottles.

And all of a sudden, your morning ritual becomes a little more indulgent, a little more refined, and lots more enjoyable.  

Oh the difference a pretty label can make . . .

Boring bubble bath becomes "Bath Tincture" . . .

Moisturizer becomes "Creme de Visage" . . .

Everyday bath salts become a "Salted Water Potion" . . .

Lame Listerine becomes a "Mint Herbed Tonic for Breath" . . .

and the mandatory multivitamin becomes a "Vitamin Restorative".

 

Someday I hope to add a "nap potion" or a "slenderizing serum" to the array.  

Until then, I'll just be content that none of these magically feminine bottles could ever be confused with hair pomade.

Many magical mornings to you all!

Here are the image files, should you choose to make your own :)

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