Pride and Prejudice: Purchasing Wedding Clothes

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"Oh! my dear brother," replied Mrs. Bennet, "that is exactly what I could most wish for. And now do, when you get to town, find them out, wherever they may be; and if they are not married already, make them marry. And as for wedding clothes, do not let them wait for that, but tell Lydia she shall have as much money as she chooses to buy them, after they are married. And, above all, keep Mr. Bennet from fighting. Tell him what a dreadful state I am in, that I am frighted out of my wits—and have such tremblings, such flutterings, all over me—such spasms in my side and pains in my head, and such beatings at heart, that I can get no rest by night nor by day. And tell my dear Lydia not to give any directions about her clothes till she has seen me, for she does not know which are the best warehouses . . ."  

~ Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice Chapter 47 

Maybe it is because I attended my niece's wedding last week, or maybe it is because spring is in the air, or maybe it is because I have watched WAY too many episodes of "Say Yes to the Dress," but it resulted in a revelation this week:  I am getting married again.  

Well, not really.

I am staying married to my darling man of 17 years and I'm keeping the ring, but I want a do-over of just about everything else---including the dress.  My poor husband, sisters, mother, and dentist have all heard the sad tale of how I looked about as stylish as a pair of tube socks on my wedding day in my satin sack.  

So instead of perpetuating the wedding-dress-gone-wrong-story for another 17 years, I've decided to write a new story---a story about a happily-married mother of five who decides to throw a small, elegant party for friends and family the way she should have done all those years ago.  There will be good food, twinkle lights, a string quartet, and a real photographer.  Oh, and she will be wearing the PERFECT dress.

But what should it look like?  I don't want a train or a veil since I will most likely be needing to chase my children and/or break up their wrestling matches during the event.  Besides, I've already worn those once and this isn't really a wedding.

But I DO want my dress to be reminiscent of these . . .

How could you go wrong with the elegance of Grace Kelly's gown or the flattering lines of Audrey Hepburn's tea length ensemble?  (You know what?  Forget the dresses.  I just want their waistlines.)

So with these inspirations in mind, here are some dresses that I've stumbled across and I'd love to have your input.  Which one would you vote for?

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Who knows?  Maybe someday I'll actually be able to post a picture of me in one of these gowns---looking happy, looking redeemed, and looking nothing like the Amish Bridal Runway Model of 1996.

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