Wednesday, August 14, 2013

From the Design Book: A Virtual Home Tour for My Husband

"One of the reasons that women writing about homemaking a century ago were so self-possessed is that neither they nor their readers were conflicted about the importance of their subject. A Victorian woman’s home was her eminent domain, and she ruled over it with as much confidence as Queen Victoria ruled the world.

~ Sarah Ban Breathnach, Romancing the Ordinary: A Year of Simple Splendor

One of my husband's many gifts is his enduring spirit.  For example, on Saturday morning he ran 10 miles without stopping.  In a few days, he will have officially survived 17 years of marriage with me with only a few thoughts of "stopping." And if life would allow it, he would watch every-stinkin'-war-documentary-episode that the History Channel ever made, back to back, stopping only for a ham sandwich.

He is my own Energizer Bunny---except when it comes to the Parade of Homes.

Something mysterious happens to my husband when we start to "parade" through homes.  The feet that happily carried him 10 miles in the scorching sun on Saturday morning suddenly become fatigued with all the "walking".  The eyes that can unblinkingly watch a 6-hour documentary on a civil skirmish in 18th century Albania suspiciously glaze over whenever I ask him his opinion on paint colors.  And even though he has filled our marriage with love notes and flowers and thoughtful deeds, he surprisingly has NO feelings when it comes to decor.

So we've made a deal.  He and I go to three homes together.  Three.  No more.  No less.  And we are both on our best behavior for three houses.  I don't engage him in conversations about textures or textiles, and he doesn't puff his cheeks out and exhale bored sighs.

Marriage saved.

Unfortunately, there were 35 homes in this year's parade and my husband somehow dodged seeing my favorites.  So pardon me for a moment as I bend the "Three's the Limit" rule and create a "virtual" house walk for him.  Here is what I would say to him if he had walked through with me:

"Honey!  Look!  There's house 16.  Isn't that paneling great with those shingles?  And I really like the blue of the front door against the grey/green of the siding."

"Oh!  I love all the light in this family room!  And the tufted couches?!  Yes, please!"

"Don't you just love how that reclaimed wood looks above the television?!  It's an art piece!"

"Look at the combination of the beadboard above the cupboards and the glass tiles below.  Adorable!"

"And look, honey!  An eating area other than In-n-Out that can accommodate all of our boys!"

"Don't you think our oldest son would drool over this room with its cool color scheme and private loft?" 

"Fun room.  What a great way to utilize the space with all of those built-in cubbies.  And I've always been a sucker for eaves.  They make rooms so interesting."

"How hard would it be hang pendant lights like that in OUR master bedroom?  And what do you think of that tufted headboard?  Did I mention how much I love all things 'tufted'?"

"Holy Moly!  Look at that shower (on the right).  It's bigger than our garage and has floor to ceiling window slats!  And those mirrors.  Yum.  I could get used to this place---including that walk-in closet."

"So what didya think, sweetie?  What would you rank the house on a scale from 1 to 10?  Wait.  Let's make two separate rankings---one for the floor plan, design, etc., and one for the decorating.  So?"

I'd like to think that after reading this post, my husband will have ABUNDANT feedback for me that will lead to hours of staring into each other's eyes as we discuss the virtues and vices of berber carpet, the craftsman style, and of course, tufted furniture.

Then again, maybe I should just be happy if he reads the post in the first place.  After all, it would mean that I got him to see FOUR houses this year.  

(Cue wicked laugh dripping with gloatful satisfaction.)

Poor thing.  

He never saw it coming.

Sharing at . . .


  1. Erika that kitchen and bathroom are drool worthy! Thanx for sharing at THT!

  2. Oh man... They just don't make them like that down here in Arizona! Our parade of homes (if we had one) would be non-stop canterra ledges and wrought iron, AKA, not my style. I'm jealous!

    1. Oh my gosh, that is so TRUE!!! And don't forget the endless beige. I feel like we are all trying to camouflage our houses into the desert around us.

  3. WOW - I can't tell you how impressed I am that your husband reads your blog LOL - mine stays completely away!!!
    But that home is just spectactular - really gorgeous!!!
    Excuse me - have some pinning to do now :)

  4. Very cute's always comical when woman want to share the things that they love when men are

    Love the homes you looked at, that kitchen is my fav!

  5. Thanks for sharing the tour with us. Enjoyed seeing the kitchen & master bathroom especially since the grays are so beautiful. So what do you think about berber carpet? I had it in a home of mine once and loved it.

  6. I would be more than happy to move in there. :)

  7. Erika, I had to laugh at your post because I have dragged my husband through so many home tours. This is a beautiful home and I appreciate you sharing it at the Open House party.

  8. Could you just go through every Parade of Homes and give me the highlights like this? I love many of the same things and you just weeded through all the blah, blah, blah and gave me the highlights. Thanks! Are you completely "paraded" out? If not, I'm looking for a friend to do the Park City Parade. Matt is still trying to find an excuse not to go with me. I don't think I could even get him to agree to three homes.

  9. Great photos love it all and that cute opening with the ladder how interesting my boys would have gone nuts sleeping in there. By the way my husband and your husband must be secret twins.

  10. Hehe I love this post! "Honey look at this" so true! Gorgeous homes! Come link to centerpiece Wednesday and share this post with us.

  11. Love it...and I was laughing out loud at your commentary! Thanks for sharing at The Scoop!...hugs...Debbie


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